To The Person I've Loved Before.
Regret is a feeling that I wish to not to experience.
I'm okay with being sad or lonely or mad, but not regret. As I take a step back and pull myself away from the crowd, I've seen things that I've never seen before. I've seen things that I've been missing out. I see the timeline of my life. My lifeline. Where did I miss. Who did I hurt. What did I do. All of them.
I've been too busy chasing down people who won't even bother to turn their backs to see how I'm doing when in fact it was me, too, doing the exact same thing to others. I was too busy being selfish, thinking about the steps I'm about to take is going to benefit me, when someone is bleeding.
It takes a lot of courage, and war flashbacks to write this.
Soal hati ni payah eh. Sebab takde jawapan yang betul.
Tak ada sesiapa pun yang faham apa yang dah jadi, termasuk aku- walaupun aku yang tentukan jalan mana yang aku sendiri pilih. Aku ingatkan, dengan kejujuran, aku akan dapat segala apa yang aku nak. I really thought I can fix things. But what if things don't want to be fixed? Aku cuma tahu aku nak apa yang aku nampak depan mata, tapi aku tak pernah nampak apa yang selama ini aku ada. Aku tinggalkan apa yang ada dalam tangan untuk kejar sesuatu yang aku takkan pernah dapat. I left someone who loves me with all his heart, and protects me from any harm, just for someone who left me around hanging, wondering with questions. I used to think what I did was right, but it wasn't. It made a heart bleed and left a scar. I did things that I said I won't do. Aku dulu, yang belum matang untuk faham, merasakan kalau aku tetap dengan fikiran aku, aku takkan hilang apa-apa. Walaupun benda tu dah bertahun tapi rasa menyesal tu takkan pernah habis.
Doakan aku!
I'm okay with being sad or lonely or mad, but not regret. As I take a step back and pull myself away from the crowd, I've seen things that I've never seen before. I've seen things that I've been missing out. I see the timeline of my life. My lifeline. Where did I miss. Who did I hurt. What did I do. All of them.
I've been too busy chasing down people who won't even bother to turn their backs to see how I'm doing when in fact it was me, too, doing the exact same thing to others. I was too busy being selfish, thinking about the steps I'm about to take is going to benefit me, when someone is bleeding.
It takes a lot of courage, and war flashbacks to write this.
Soal hati ni payah eh. Sebab takde jawapan yang betul.
Tak ada sesiapa pun yang faham apa yang dah jadi, termasuk aku- walaupun aku yang tentukan jalan mana yang aku sendiri pilih. Aku ingatkan, dengan kejujuran, aku akan dapat segala apa yang aku nak. I really thought I can fix things. But what if things don't want to be fixed? Aku cuma tahu aku nak apa yang aku nampak depan mata, tapi aku tak pernah nampak apa yang selama ini aku ada. Aku tinggalkan apa yang ada dalam tangan untuk kejar sesuatu yang aku takkan pernah dapat. I left someone who loves me with all his heart, and protects me from any harm, just for someone who left me around hanging, wondering with questions. I used to think what I did was right, but it wasn't. It made a heart bleed and left a scar. I did things that I said I won't do. Aku dulu, yang belum matang untuk faham, merasakan kalau aku tetap dengan fikiran aku, aku takkan hilang apa-apa. Walaupun benda tu dah bertahun tapi rasa menyesal tu takkan pernah habis.
Doakan aku!
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